How a Widow Can Handle the Family Farm, 1942

A letter to the editor from the February 1942 issue of The Farmer’s Wife

When a farm woman becomes a widow, it is customary for the children to whirl in and bundle their mother off to their own home or some other friendly, cozy place and dismantle the house, two days after the funeral. Believe me, however, it is a dangerous business to let kindly, well-meaning relatives decide your future 48 hours after someone has died and left you.

Don’t do it! At least don’t do it suddenly. It is a matter more vital to you than to anyone else, so try to get hold of yourself even in the hour of deep grief, and assert your rights. Give yourself days, weeks and even months before you do a signal thing toward disposing of home, possessions or anything. Sit down calmly and let the children weep if they will, but keep your home.

But what can a lone person do? Why, a large variety of things! Arrangements can be made with a neighbor to lend a growing boy or girl to do chores and stay nights, and owner can get along quite well in daylight. Or perhaps there is an elderly relative who will be glad to make a visit of several months until things can be thought through. One bewildered woman held on, and slept nights at the home of a neighbor. Often a part of the house can be set aside for a tenant without children.

If after a year the farm owner thinks breaking up is the only course to pursue, there is still time to go into that plan. The chances are 99 out of 100 though, that she will decide to stay on as long as health will permit.

--Hilda Richmond, Ohio