Put Baby on a 'Strict Regimen of Sodas and Other Sugary Carbonated Beverages' for a Lifetime of Guaranteed Happiness

Why give your baby boring milk when you could give him a soda? “Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who started drinking soda during the early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and “fitting in” during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favor. Do your child a favor. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness.”