Lighthearted Look at Doing One's Taxes, May 18, 1921

Figuring One’s Income Tax. . . Directions That May or May Not Be Helpful in Making Out a Correct Return

In the direction of helpfulness the Winstead Saturday Night suggests that if your income is $2,400 a year and you have a diamond ring and an automobile and are married to a brunette girl 26 years old, you take the amount of your income, add your personal property, subtract your street number, multiply by your height, add your wife’s height and divide by your telephone number.

You will then carry your minus, separated from your plus, to schedule G, on the 10th line of which you subtract the multiple, which you put on line X, schedule K, entering in column A.

If you have a child in the family, subtract $200 from your income, add the amount of your personal property, multiply by your waist measure, subtract the size of your collar, add the child’s age, multiply by the amount you have given your church during the year and divide by the number of your automobile license tag.

If there are two children you deduct $400 from your income, add the weight and age of the second child, divide by the date of your birth, multiply by the size of your hat and subtract the weight of your mother-in-law.

The result of the above computation should be carried to line VIII, schedule 1, after deducting from the total of G.P. and A. and adding F.O. and L., carrying it to column D, which will cover all taxation except the normal and surtax.

From The Enterprise, Williamston, Martin County, N.C., May 18, 1921