“I’m a Farmer’s Helpmeet”
by Mrs. Henry M. Middleton as published in April, 1937, Carolina Co-Operator. Mrs. Middleton is the wife of one of the
leading farmers in North Carolina.
Cooperation in the
home is equally as important as cooperation in business, says this author. She
tells how a farmer’s wife can make him a better helpmeet.
A home without cooperation is like a ship without a rudder.
Those of us who have really experienced cooperation in our homes know that we
are benefited in a substantial way not only economically but that within us
there is something which tells us that our lives are blending and slowly, link
by link, the bonds are becoming tighter and our minds are growing more
contended in a love which is even stronger than death. We are becoming truly
one. This comes only to home-makers who experience cooperation from every
angle.
The success of the home depends largely on whether or not
the farm realizes the big part she plays in the home, the greatest institution
in the world, and the heavy part the husband plans in “bringing home the
bacon.”
To be a successful helpmeet, a wife must first be a good
Christian, one who loves her husband and children and who is able to give to
her family, through love and capable ministrations, the courage and confidence
necessary to keep them strong and at the same time continue building power
within herself. She must consider the health of the family and give much
thought to her table, for health is the very basis of success and rarely do
other than strong-bodied and strong-minded people make their way to the front.
Should Keep Fit
The thoughtful wife gives due consideration to her husband’s
comfort and pleasure when he gets in from his work, dead tired. There should be
holidays and evenings for recreation, and the husband should have the right to
spend some of these in a way that pleases him most.
When “Mother” shows that she is worried, the whole household
gets upset. She should keep herself fit so that she may always be pleasant and
cheerful. One good way to keep fit is by taking short vacations, such as a trip
to Raleigh during Farm and Home Week. There one can gather much food for
thought by attending the Farm Women’s short course classes. Good reading also
diverts the mind and instills in us the essentials of right living instead of
self-pity. Self-pity is detrimental and any wife who indulges in such is far
from being a successful helpmeet.
A sense of humor is very essential in keeping up the family
morale. Any family is indeed fortunate when “Mother” is the first to see a joke
and leads the mirth. Another good way to keep the family fit is to set aside a
period each day for family worship. A child who can lay claim to God-fearing
parents has a rich heritage.
Show Appreciation
Any normal man hungers for an expression of appreciation for
his efforts. Millions of husbands would take a new interest in life if they
could only feel a pat on the shoulder or hear an occasional word of praise from
their mate.
Many women are unwilling to take for granted the vexatious
problems and smile at them when they arise in the home and often form a habit
of nagging. Nagging is obnoxious and cowardly and makes a husband so
uncomfortable that he often yields to the will of his wife in order to prevent
further nagging. Gentleness, backed by firmness, works miracles in making a
congenial mate.
A real helpmeet must be thrifty and a capable manager. All
members of the family should be called into conference when the family budget
is under discussion. In this way each one has his or her part in making the
budget and is impressed with the importance of living within its bounds. A real
helpmeet should know how and what to buy. In home demonstration clubs many of
these things are taught, such as how to judge a good sheet, test a good dye, or
know the quantity of wool in a blanket. We must know these things if we are to
become capable managers.
A thrifty wife makes the best of what she has, keeps her
eyes open and her hands busy. Even though the old car does look bad she
discourages buying a new one if it means mortgaging the home. Flour sacks can
be made into dish or dust cloths, or even given a pretty edge and made into
napkins and luncheon sets. The wife should have some little project of her own
for making pin money with which to buy the little things which are so dear to
her and mean so little to the average husband. She is always on the look-out
for anything that might help in some way to make the “bread earning” of her
mate a little easier and more effective.
Education is also necessary for it means enlarged capacity
for work and service. It is only by constant reading and study that man and
wife are able to solve the confusing problems which daily arise. When children
arrive in the home, they should be welcome and each parent should share in the
responsibility for their education—mental, moral, physical, and spiritual.
A considerate wife keeps herself personally neat and
attractive, trying to remain as near like the girl that her husband courted as
possible. She uses the same care in keeping the house clean and attractive,
realizing that “the consciousness of clean linen is in and of itself a source
of more strength, second only to that of a clean conscience.”
Self-giving draws a big salary in happiness. Only the heart
that is full of its task can achieve the greatest good.
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