Wife Rules Undisputed. . . Husband Is Mere Worm at Housecleaning Time. . . Annual Epoch of Disorder, Hurry and Discomfort at Zenith in Elizabeth City This Week, With Arrival of Balmy Spring Weather at Last
That epoch most dreaded by masculine members of every household in Elizabeth City is at its zenith now. Woman is undisputed sovereign of all she surveys—within the confines of the home, at least. Man is out of it. He is a galley slave, a mere worm, to be trod upon when his better half so elects. He is no better than a piece of furniture which he moves reluctantly, but often, these days.
Spring housecleaning is at hand. Delayed by continued bad weather, the general run of housewives have just gotten around to this annual obeisance to the deities of cleanliness this week, as the most casual investigation will disclosed. Home is turned topsy turvy. It is no longer a sanctuary from the outside world, but rather is a place of confusion and hurry, of moving this and that, of energetic, remorseless pursuit of the cobwebs and dust that have accumulated during the long winter months just passed.
The wife is hurried, harried, flustered. She has a thousand things to do, and if Friend Husband is around, she finds at least 999 tasks for him. That awful crayon portrait of Uncle Edgar, which has hung in the front parlor for so many and so many years, until nobody else pays any attention to it, has smitten harshly upon the aesthetic sense of Friend Wife. It must be taken down and re-hung on the opposite wall, where the shadows will soften its harsh outlines proclaiming that Uncle Edgar was not the handsomest of men, and that besides his batwing tie was crooked when the picture was made.
Page The Stovepipe
The parlor furniture must be moved into the dining room. The dining room suite must go into the kitchen. And so on. The kitchen stove finds peaceful haven on the back porch, with the unwieldy sections of stovepipe, burdened with soot—faugh! Friend Husband must move it all. No wonder he assumes a long suffering air, even before the exigencies of the occasion demand that he be content with makeshift meals served hurriedly whenever there is room enough.
Turmoil reigns while the brushing, scouring, polishing and painting goes on merrily. All sorts of spreads and slips and curtains and bedding and so forth, usually screened discreetly from the public gaze, now flaunt themselves shamelessly from the lothes line in the back yard. One learns much about one’s neighbors’ possessions during house cleaning time.
Friend Husband sneaks in unostentatiously to dinner, hoping he may grab a bite and depart with attracting attention. No such luck. “Before you sit down,” sweetly but imperatively the voice of his helpmate suggests, “I wish you would move this wardrobe Grandmother left us. It’s too heavy for me—and I must sweep behind it.
Obediently, he tackles the job. The wardrobe is of that old fashioned variety and weighs something over a ton, he estimates, after gingerly tackling it. He tugs and sweats. A suspender button pops off. He tugs again, and at last the thing budges a little. With utter disregard of the havoc to his clothes from its dust covered surface, he goes at it with might and main, and finally moves it sufficiently for the household ceremonies to go on unimpeded. It is a great life.
Many Paint Up, Too
Nowadays, there is much painting at housecleaning time. Caught in the inevitable confusion of cleaning, many families take advantage of the occasion to refurbish walls, floors and furniture before restoring the home to its normally well ordered state. Thus, two jobs are finished at once, usually to the great belief of everybody concerned.
The lady of the house talks as though she dreads spring housecleaning and, if her own wishes in the atter were considered only, she’d rather leave the dirt undisturbed. There are those, however, who contend that she glories in it—wouldn’t miss it for a half dozen ordinary-sized worlds. They tell you that the average woman will say she doesn’t like flattery, and would prefer that her husband wouldn’t waste his money on little gifts for her, et cetera, et cetera. All of which, they declare, is applesauce.
No discourse on housecleaning would be complete without a mention of its one redeeming feature. When the job is done, and one properly, the old place does have a brighter look about it—a freshness that it hadn’t had for many months. And, after all, that may be fair recompense for the work, worry and inconvenience that the job entails.
From the front page of The Daily Advance, Elizabeth City, N.C., Saturday evening, April 24, 1926
newspapers.digitalnc.org/lccn/sn92074042/1926-04-24/ed-1/seq-1/