An Alibi for Editor R.F. Beasley, Sept. 5, 1925

In Which Editor R.F. Beasley Sets Up an Alibi

Monroe Journal

The Charlotte News says in the police court in Charlotte “R.F. Beasley paid a fine of $50 and costs for operating an automobile while under the influence of liquor.”

Notwithstanding the well known definition which Jack Wiliams gave of an alibi, we feel moved to set one up. Jack defined an alibi as “Latin for a durn lie.” We do not regard an alibi so lightly, especially since we feel called upon to make use of one.

And what shall our alibi be? When Chief Justice Flow called our attention to this publication and said that we should set up some excuse, explanation, or what not, and intimated that there must be some other citizen by that name, we asked the chief justice if he had not noticed a similarity between us as a theoretical and practical prohibitionists, and the reputation of Caesar’s wife as a lady.

But the chief justice, hoary with knowledge on all other subjects, seemed ignorant of the reputation of Caesar’s wife, and we had to explain that she was the lady who was above suspicion.

But the judge shook his head in that dubious and apologetic way peculiar to him when about to announce a grievous judgment and said that this plea was not sufficient.

Then it was explained to the judge that on the very day in which the mysterious R.F. Beasley of Charlotte got into trouble, we were in company with Ramon Griffin and frank Willliams at the Williams union in Wingate until 2 o’clock, which time we ate so much of the Wiliams’ family rations that we were incapable of further locomotion for that day and hence could not have been in Charlotte. The chief justice had some doubts about the value of these witnesses but finally agreed that the testimony was worth consideration. Then we sprung our last and most conclusive testimony.

“Now, judge,” we said, “You notice that the man arrested in Charlotte was driving an automobile, whereas you know that we have no automobile, but use at all time one of Henry’s rattlers. Hence, we could not have been arrested for driving an automobile either drunk or sober.”

“The point is well made,” remarked the chief justice, “and the alibi is established.”

From page 4 of The Concord Daily Tribune, Saturday, Sept. 5, 1925

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