Do Children Separate Husbands and Wives or Join Them More Closely Together?—Curing Calf Love—His Turn to Pop the Question
Dear Miss Dix—I am a married young woman with one little girl, and have a good husband, who is devoted to us both. I am happy and contented, but I have a friend who comes to visit me often who is continually warning me about having any more children. She says that children are not only an expense and bother but that a husband’s love soon dies where there are children. She has impressed this idea on me so that I am getting bewildered and wonder if my husband is getting tired of me because of our baby. Will you please tell me what you think?
Edith H.
Answer:
Why, Edith, your friend is a neurotic, unnatural woman, and the doctrine she preaches is monstrous. All human experience gives it the lie, so don’t listen to her any more.
Instead of children being a curse, they are the greatest blessing that heaven can bestow upon a man and woman. They are the crown of marriage. They are the one thing that saves many an uncongenial marriage and make it worth while.
Of course, children are an expense. Of course, they are a bother. Of course, they demand work and care and self-sacrifice from their parents. But we have to pay for every joy and happiness we get in life, and surely nothing else returns such dividends as children do.
To realize the truth of this you have only to consider your own baby. Has anything else ever brought you such joy as she has? Is there any other one thing as absorbingly and fascinatingly interesting to you as watching her grown and development? Would you trade her off for all the money in the world? You know you wouldn’t. And her father feels about her exactly as you feel.
And the best part of it is that the happiness that you will find in your children is the one thing in your life that will never grow stale. You will live your own life over in them, sharing in their joys and their hopes and ambitions, and when at last you grow old, you will have somebody to look after you and comfort you, and love you to the end.
As for your husband caring less for you because you have children, exactly the opposite is true—unless the man is an utter rotter who cares for a woman only for her good looks, and such a man soon ceases to love his wife, anyway.
To a man who has any decency of feeling whatever, no other sight in the world is so beautiful as that of his wife with his child in her arms. Nothing appeals so strongly to every fiber of manhood in him as his children gathered about their mother. And there are thousands upon thousands of men who are held by baby hands to their duty in homes that are mismanaged and made miserable by nagging wives.
Children are the tie that binds. Don’t forget that. And also remember that no other woman does a work comparable with the one who raise sup a big family of fine sons and daughters.
Dorothy Dix
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Dear Dorthy Dix—I am 25 and have a very devoted husband of 38 and two small children. My husband’s nephew, a lovable boy of 18, stays with us while he is working with my husband. He and I have a great deal in common, and I have read, planned and played with him. But now I find, to my consternation, that he has become infatuated with me. I feel that I must be honest with my husband and tell him about it but If I do he will send the boy away, which will ruin his future, as far as his present occupation goes. I am very fond of this boy in a motherly way and heartbroken over the situation. What must I do?
Anxious
Answer:
Ridicule is one of the best remedies for calf love. Boys of that age cannot stand to be made fun of. So if you laugh at the lad you can do ore to cure his sentimentalism than anything else.
But the one effectual remedy is to provide a counter-attraction. Invite the prettiest and most attractive young flapper you know to come and make you a month’s visit. And before the time is up the chances are that the boy will have transferred his affection. Nearly every boy’s first love is a woman older than himself, but the attack is generally a brief one and yields to the treatment administered by a girl of his own age.
It is a pity for a fooling boy’s lovesickness-which amounts to nothing really—to blight his prospects. But if he will not listen to reason, and if you cannot make him see what a dishonorable thing he is doing to repay his uncle’s generosity with treachery, then, of course, there is nothing to do but to tell your husband. Otherwise, you become party to the disloyalty.
But before you take this final step, I entreat you to try the flapper remedy.
Dorothy Dix
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Dear Miss Dix—About two years ago I began going with a girl. I didn’t care a lot for her at first but soon fell in love with her. Within two months of the time I first met her, she proposed to me and I accepted her because I loved her. Unfortunately, we had a quarrel and broke the engagement. Since then I have been lonely and blue, and have never been able to care for any other girl. How can I win her back?
J.D.
Answer:
Turn about is fare play, J.D. The girl proposed to you once. Why don’t you take your turn at the courting and propose to her? Perhaps she feels that she has run after you enough, and thinks that it is time that you took your part in the love chase.
Your case is an inspiring one, as it shows that men will say “Yes” when a woman pops the question.
Dorothy Dix
From the society page of the Durham Morning Herald, Tuesday, Sept. 2, 1924. Dorothy Dix was the Dear Abby of the 1920s.
newspapers.digitalnc.org/lccn/sn84020730/1924-09-02/ed-1/seq-5/
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