Seen and Heard Around
the Streets of Monroe
By Henry Belk
The following is a fish story and it may sound a little
fishy but the participants therein say they will give their affidavits to its
truthfulness. According to Messrs. George Lee Jr., Lee English, Neal Redfern
and Rob Laney, they don’t need either hook or line when they go fishing. They
just go out and chase the fish to death. They say that while out to match their
wits against the finny tribe at the Lee Park pond a few days ago, in stepping
across a small branch they beheld several fish, which acted as if they had
spent their entire life living in the last house on the shady side of easy
street, in the clear water. Simultaneously they stopped to catch them. The
fish, perceiving the charge of the enemy, shifted to high gear, opened the
cut-out, jammed on the last notch of gas, and sped up the stream in utter
disregard to all speed laws. The quartet followed in the rear, but the fish
increased their speed with alarming rapidity. (Treat softly for the end
approaches.) The visions of fish fry were swiftly disappearing from off the horizon
when a curve in the branch loomed up ahead. The fish had attained such a Barney
Oldfield speed that they were unable to take the curve and crashed into the
opposite bank, where they remained, stunned, until triumphantly the fishermen
approached and made them captive.
We heard the suggestion made some time ago that one of the
features of the Welcome Home celebration on July 4th should be a
weight guessing contest. A certain estimable Union county man whose feet are so
large that he buys his shoes by the yard should be secured to extend these
foundations in such a manner that they will be in view and his body be
screened. The crowd shall then pass along and file their estimate of the weight
of the owner.
Judge Lemmond has another plan on foot. He has several acres
of his Goose Creek farm planted in wheat. And mentioning Goose Creek farms we
would state parenthetically that one farmer form that section met a friend from
the opposite end of the county and in the conversation which ensued the Goose
Creek man happened to remark that there was one thing which he did not see the
use of and that was a corn cob. “Why,” replied his friend, “they were made in
order that you folks in that end of the county should have something to stop up
the craw fish holes with.” To get back to Judge Lemmond and his wheat: he
expects to make a bumper crop. Then after it has been gathered and threshed,
without warning he is going to throw it on the market. Such an enormous
quantity of wheat thrown on the market will knock the bottom out of prices and
they will immediately do the Gravitation Glide. Judge Lemmond expects that the
mass of the people over the U.S.A. will be so thankful for a lower wheat price
that when the Presidential election comes off in 1920 they will promote him from
Recorder to President on the Independent ticket.
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