Yanks In Many Love
Tangles. . . Keep American Consular Agents on the Jump. . . Has More Time to
Himself in British Isles Than in France, Hence There Have Been More Marriages
to British Than to French Girls. . . Marriage Customs of Scotland Responsible
for Most Serious Problem
Mr. Samuel Doughboy has become a much married man since he
set out to make the world safe for democracy, and the United States consular
authorities throughout the British Isles are having no end of trouble trying to
straighten out his marital difficulties.
Of approximately a million members of the Doughboy family
who passed through England on their way to glory and everlasting fame in the
fighting line, several thousand (the exact number is not yet known) took pretty
English, Irish and Scotch girls unto themselves as wives.
Simply Could Not
Resist
It appears Mr. Doughboy has more time to himself in the
British Isles than during his sojourn in France, hence there have been more
marriages to British girls than to French girls. Not that our soldiers and
sailors care less for the dark-eyed beauties of the romantic country they have
played such a prominent part in saving from German oppression, but here in
England and Ireland and Scotland they just naturally couldn’t help themselves.
The girls smiled at them with love-lit eyes and spoke so softly and sweetly in
their own language that they really couldn’t resist the temptation.
Everything was fine until Mr. Doughboy went away from here
to add his persuasive powers to those of Mr. Tommy Atkins and Frenchy in
throwing Fritz out of France and Belgium. Uncle Sam, as we all know, was a bit
slow with his postal service at the front, and Mrs. Doughboy in England,
Ireland and Scotland became very much worried. They asked the consular authorities
about Mr. Doughboy’s whereabouts, and that’s just where the trouble started.
Uncle Sam, to whom said consular authorities are more or
less responsible, thought he had some claim on Mr. Doughboy, since he had
fitted him out with a brand new uniform, kit, etc.; paid his expenses over
here, and even gave him spending money. But Mrs. Doughboy protested that she
had first claim, and so the authorities have been as busy as a marrying parson
of Hoboken, N.J., adjusting matters in a manner that would not interfere with
Uncle Sam’s business in Europe and at the same time would relieve the anxiety
of the many young women who have hopes of residing in the near future in
America.
Most Serious in
Scotland
Scotland, however, has produced the most serious problem to
solve. Hundreds of wee lassies there say they took Mr. Doughboy at his word.
Apparently that’s all that’s necessary in Scotland, according to law. While the
Scotch girls do not doubt the sincerity of Mr. Doughboy, the fact that their
mail has been so irregular since he left, also that the armistice has been
signed and soon he’ll be returning to America, has caused them to inquire just
where they stand. And the American consular representatives are burning the
midnight oil, blocking the telegraph and cable lines, exceeding the typewriter
speed limit and nursing aching heads to find out all about it for all
concerned.
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