Here is an editorial that I might have written myself, but I didn’t. It is from the pen of Dr. Frank Crane, writing in December Current Opinion. It comes in right handy for this editor who is just back from a week’s visit to New York and not inclined to write much himself this week. I quote Dr. Crane:
“On Sunday, the 16th of October, there was an eclipse of the moon. It came around exactly on time and we all felt a thrill of price in the human mind that could so accurately predict the movement of the hands upon the face of the celestial clock.
“Speaking of the moon, some interest has recently been excited in a theory proposed by Professor Pickering that vegetation exists on some of the floors of some of the lunar craters.
“The mass of scientific opinion leans to the view that the moon is a completely dead world. But Professor Pickering’s reputation as an astronomer is too high to permit his observation being lightly dismissed.
“Professor Pickering’s theory is correct. This does not need proof, because we admit it.
“It is more than correct. For there is not only vegetation on the moon, but there is human life on the moon.
“It may be interesting to have us tell you about this; and you may take our word for it that it is true. And if you deny that it is true, we will deny your denial, and so there you are.
“As a matter of fact, in the bottom of these craters there exists a stunted, half-savage form of human beings, the last remnant of a race which once peopled the whole surface of our satellite.
“For you must know that the moon was once as pleasant a place as this planet. It was covered with vast forests, oceans, rivers, animals and people.
“There were great cities there and they had railroads, telegraphs, flying machines, phonographs and suffragets.
“The moon, however, was divided into separate nations, each one of which was governed by a monarch who was declared by his subjects to be the Son of Heaven. And each nation was peopled by a race that considered itself superior to all other races.
“They had no nonsense in the moon. Every nation was practical and had its Monroe Doctrine and was too clever to trust any other nation.
“Of course, under these conditions they had wars periodically. With the growth of science these wars became more and more deadly, until finally a certain professor named Snigglefritz discovered a gas that would absolutely destroy everything: people, beasts, houses, crops—everything.
“So they had a grand war finally and they shot off all their gases at each other and the result was that the entire surface of the moon, with the exception of a few crater holes, was reduced to rock and cinders.
“What people remain are now gathered in these holes, and have degenerated into a short of ape.
“The moon is a shining example of the triumph of common sense, military preparedness and practical, sound statesmanship over the tom-fool idealism that is now making so much trouble upon Tellus.”
From the editorial page of The Independent, Elizabeth City, N.C., Dec. 23, 1921, W.O. Saunders, editor. Dr. Frank Crane was a popular speaker, writer and Presbyterian minister.
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