Dear Miss Dix—I am 15 years old and have a fair amount of intelligence, but somehow I don’t seem able to get along with any one, be it parents, teachers or companions. As long as I have my own way, everything goes along smoothly, but let anything go against the grain and I fly into a terrible temper. My mother blames herself for having spoiled me as a baby, which is the reason why I grew up to be so mean and lazy, yet I can be very good and a good worker, too. Mamma says she hopes I will marry a man as high-tempered as I am, for it would be a pity for me to marry a good man and henpeck him.
--Hateful
Answer:
I suppose, Hateful, that you think you are going to run roughshod over the world, ruthlessly trampling down all in your way, and that you will have the best of everything because you are going to reach out greedy hands and grab it for yourself, and that everybody will kowtow to you because they are afraid of arousing the devil that lives within you.
Therefore, you make no effort to control yourself. You do not try to make yourself pleasant to those about you. You are a shirker who lets others bear your burdens. It is easier to bulldoze your way than it is to take the trouble to be considerate of others. Probably you excuse yourself by saying that you were born with a bad disposition, or that you are temperamental, or nervous and highly strung.
You think you can get away with it because the family at home stands it rather than have scenes with you. But let me tell you, my child, that the world has no use for such a woman as you are permitting yourself to grow up into being, and unless you correct your faults, it will simply annihilate you.
You say you cannot get along with any one, yet, if you go to work your bread and butter will depend upon your ability to do teamwork with those about you. No matter how much ability you have, it will count for nothing if you are always flying into tantrums and getting into quarrels, and saying things that offend your boss or insult the customers.
You are looking calmly forward to marrying a man whom you can boss. Believe me, my dear, the meek and patient men who will stand virago wives ae as scarce as hen’s teeth What will happen to you is that you will find yourself defending a divorce suit.
And how shall you find happiness without friends, without love? You will be a lonely, forlorn creature, shunned by your fellow creatures, for we love only the lovable; and there is nothing to hang a shred of affection upon I one who is incarnate selfishness. For that is the real explanation of temper and laziness.
And don’t forget this—when we refuse to discipline ourselves, life does the job for us, and it does with a whip of scorpions. Life will discipline you by taking from you all you want. It will break your will and it will break your heart into the bargain.
Save yourself this by learning to control your temper while you are young, and by cultivating unselfishness. Otherwise, you are doomed. And nobody can really help you. We have to save our own souls.
--Dorothy Dix
From page 5 of The Durham Morning Herald, Tuesday, Oct. 21, 1924
newspapers.digitalnc.org/lccn/sn84020730/1924-10-21/ed-1/seq-5/#words=OCTOBER+21%2C+1924
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